All of these songs are startin... All of these songs are starting to run together in a watery brown stream of No. Or maybe that butthole @jasonhare has just ruined my mood.
"Don't Trust That Woman" start... “Don’t Trust That Woman” starts off with the line “she’s a real ball-buster / Don’t trust her.” I don’t know if I can finish this album.
"Your pulse that races when I'... “Your pulse that races when I’m close reads like a hoop of fire”? WHAT?
"Your pulse that races when I'... “Your pulse that races when I’m close reads like a hoop of fire”? WHAT?
I swear to God, every ballad E... I swear to God, every ballad Elton recorded between 1984 and 1986 sounds almost exactly alike. This one is called “Hoop of Fire.”
"Leather Jackets" leads off wi... “Leather Jackets” leads off with the title track, and a wall of farting synths. Sounds like a song Patti LaBelle would do for a soundtrack.
We have arrived at our last st... We have arrived at our last stop: 1986’s “Leather Jackets,” the album Wikipedia says is the lowest-charting of Elton’s career.
We have arrived at our last st... We have arrived at our last stop: 1986’s “Leather Jackets,” the album Wikipedia says is the lowest-charting of Elton’s career.
I...I don't even know what to ... I…I don’t even know what to say about “Candy by the Pound.” Just…awful.
How did "Tell Me What the Pape... How did “Tell Me What the Papers Say” not end up as the theme song for a sitcom? Or a horrible Steve Guttenberg comedy?
"Satellite" is like three crap... “Satellite” is like three crappy songs stitched together by a synth programmer’s intern.
I also love that it took five ... I also love that it took five or six people to write this piece of shit. How totally ’80s.
My favorite part of this horri... My favorite part of this horrible song, of course, is the fadeout, when George and Elton panic and start shouting out inappropriate names.
Okay, I just read the "Too You... Okay, I just read the “Too Young” lyrics. I need to go dunk my eyes and ears in bleach.
Given the amount of cocaine th... Given the amount of cocaine that must have been in his system, I wonder if Elton realized that “Too Young” was a boring, slow-ass ballad.
